I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

As editor of a large Article Directory, that currently has over 20,000 Articles, we receive hundreds of new  ideas that arrive daily….but in this past week I have received two new articles, that have both made me sit up and take notice. This is the first of those, the other I will leave for a second article.

Every day many millions of searches are performed, admittedly over 80% of those searches are currently made by internet users that go through either Google, MSN or Yahoo, but then like this new Search Engine, they too had to start somewhere. After all it was only a few years ago that Google started, now look at how big they are.

This is how the new Search Engine works:

You have your own Search Portal, in the same way that you would Search though any of the big three. Although instead of using say Google, you Search via your own personal Search Portal. The results that they supply, are both quick, and also very good, and supplied in the same way that they would be with any other Search Engine, but here is the difference!

1/. They will give you $50 just for joining, no catch, your account is credit as soon as you join up with them.

2/. You then get the personal link to your very own Search Portal when you join, which you then use whenever you want to make a Search of the internet.

3/. They CREDIT your account every time you make a Search, using your own Search Portal.

Now the potential!

The Search Portal link is specific to YOU, so the idea is for you to get your friends, and maybe even business colleagues to also use YOUR Search Portal, after all it will cost them nothing, and they will get good results. The more people you can get to use your Search Portal the better….BECAUSE every time that it is used to make a Search by anyone using YOUR Search Engine Portal link, the Search company pays YOU!!

It progresses even further, it is completely Free to you, and you get the $50 sign up bonus mentioned above, but if your friends also sign up, they get the $50 bonus too, as do their friends, and their friend’s friends!

So there must be a catch?
I have NOT found one, and I have looked at it VERY closely. In fact I think it is a great idea, I have actually tried it, and as promised my account credit increased as they said it would. I believe that it is a very novel idea and one that could really take off. It is totally free to use, it does not cost the users anything, and so as far as I can see it really is a win win situation.

The Search Engine I am talking about, is also a Pay Per Click Search Engine, so they DO want you to use the money you earn to buy Pay Per Click listings, but then if you have your own website, and you are accumulating money for Free just by making Searches, then it also means that you are getting your “clicks” for Free too. They also have paid Membership, which I understand allows you to take the money you earn in the form of Cash Commissions, paid twice monthly via PayPal.

From my point of view, it looks like a new way of getting free traffic to my website.

So finally if you do have a web site, or maybe plan to have one in the future, would like to promote it for Free, then this is something that you should really take a look at.
After all they could be the internet’s next big player, and you are getting in on the ground floor!

In the wake of the sudden death of its now fragmented leader, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Al-Qaeda in Iraq polled its somewhat shaken members about who would like to take over Mr. Zarqawiís job. After a determined effort, the group was able to find a terrorist who, though expressing understandable reluctance, was eventually persuaded to accept the expectedly short-lived position. The usual amateurish Webcast was quickly arranged, and the new leader, flanked by other terrorists wearing the standard-issue black head disguises, introduced himself, with visible knee shaking, as Abu Hamza al-Muhajer. In the co-opted, overbearingly religious language that has become the worldwide standard in terrorist-speak, the new leader of Al-Qaeda in Iraq vowed to avenge al-Zarqawiís death and vowed that he and the other ìholy warriorsî will continue with what they perceive as a holy war against their own slack populace and the people Al-Qaeda refers to with moronic medieval acumen as ìthe crusaders.î ìDon't let the joy of killing our Sheikh Abu Musab, may God bless his soul, fool you,î he stated, ìfor he left behind lions." To prove his point, at that moment, he held up an uncooked shish-kabob and took a bite out of it. Chewing on the raw lamb meat, he continued: "He raised them by himself and they trained in his den. They believe in their ideology, and they fight only for God and in God and through God." Apparently, the group had to reach far down into its ranks to locate another willing volunteer. Unfortunately, no one on the side of the infidels had ever heard of him, even the most erudite terrorist analyst. A few days later, his identity was determined. After the announcement, his photo-ID poster was taken to a US firing range for target practice. No comment was forthcoming until and a couple days later, when a terrorist of even less repute made a tape, claiming he is the rightful fellow who's picture should be on the firing range. Whoever the new leader is, if apprehended alive, he will be sent for retraining in religious ideology to an enlightened mosque, if one can be located, wherein he will learn the disconcerting logic that if, as he and his ill-informed cohorts maintain, there is only one true God, even crusaders are the children of the same God, so such a God is unlikely to welcome them into the paradise they long for as a reward for their murderous activities but will far more likely present them with a more heated welcome and destination.

Lawyer Jokes Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer? A: She has an extreme craving for baloney. Q: What is the legal definition of ìAppealî? A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12? A: Your Honor. Q: Whatís the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"? A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony. Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A: Jewelry. Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions? A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari. Q: Whatís the difference between lawyers and accountants? A: At least accountants know theyíre boring. Stories: 1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Donít worry. Youíll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didnít have a dime. 2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died." 3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?" 4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone." And finally: You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.

Paypal has made it possible to quickly and easily send money over the Internet. This allows us to pay for all kinds of purchases with a lot less hassle. It also will allow you, everyone who reads this article, to send me, Timothy Ward, $1.00. Being the cynics that you are, I know you're probably asking: "Why should I send you $1.00? I barely even know you. If I hadn't somehow stumbled onto this article I wouldn't even have known that you exist. I still don't know how I came across this ridiculous article, I was trying to find my brother-in-law's blog." Since I know that humanoids are by nature untrusting, and I know that you can spare the dollar, I will now generously provide 8 reasons why you should immediately paypal me a buck. I don't think I'll need more than 5 reasons but I like to give people their money's worth. Plus I have a word count to think about. So without further ado: (1) Sending me $1.00 will keep you from spending it on something pointless like the mortgage payment. You've been faithfully paying on that mortgage for years-it's time you had a break. And it'll only cost you a single greenback. (2) Donating to a worthy cause can give you peace of mind which, in turn, will help you to sleep better at night. Giving me a dollar may not be as worthy a cause as, say, giving to the Red Cross, but I promise I will sleep better tonight and many nights thereafter if you send me that dollar. (3) If I were sitting in front of a gas station smelling of cheap wine and wearing the same clothes I had on when I lost my job 8 months ago, you wouldn't even consider giving me a dollar. You would probably tell me to: "Get a Job, ya bum", and then rapidly walk away, clutching your wallet tightly. I, however, am not sitting in front of a gas station, I'm sitting in front of my television. And I changed clothes 2 days ago. (4) I need to buy some Bling Bling! You're just not in the game if you don't have diamonds in your ears and ice on your neck and wrists. Plus I know a guy who'll give me a great deal on some gold teeth. But I need more cheese. (5) Many great artist in history have depended on donations to finance their masterpieces. Your sending me $1.00 will allow me to do the necessary research for a masterpiece of an article that I'm working on called: 'Going Out on Saturday Night and Getting Sloppy Drunk Using Other People's Money'. I'll be sure to acknowledge you at the end. (6) Fellas, would you rather send me a dollar or have your wife spent it on yet another pair of black heels? Ladies, would you rather your husbands spend it on another one of those magazines that he keeps in that box in his workshop? I thought not. (7) Time is money. You're already wasting money by taking time to read this article. Another George Washington won't kill you. (8) The pens and paper I use to write these articles don't pay for themselves. My high speed internect connection that I use to upload these articles isn't free. I don't think $1.00 is too much to ask after the scores of articles I have written and shared with all of cyberspace. After all, if it wasn't for my articles you wouldn't appreciate the good articles written by others. So there you have it folks. 8 reasons to send me $1.00 via Paypal. As I suspected most of you were sold after Reason #5. I appreciate you waiting patiently until I finished with the remaining Reasons before rushing over to Paypal.com. Now that I have finished listing my reasons feel free to login and send your $1.00 to wailinward@yahoo.com. And please hurry, the guy with the gold teeth isn't going to have those great deals forever...

While Marco Polo, a Venetian, is generally given credit for discovering noodles in China, recent research suggests that Italian pasta in all its glorious varieties was actually discovered in Rome nearly a century earlier, and quite by accident, by a remarkably unlikely epicurean named Julius Amplonius, with the able assistance of an invading barbarian named Klunk, The Great. The momentous event occurred one afternoon when this portly patrician was dining at a chic restaurant just off the Roman Forum. He was savoring a sip of red wine from Tuscany when a group of alarmed citizens came running by, screeching, ìThe barbarians are coming! The barbarians are coming!î Amplonius had witnessed their arrival before, and by now he had made peace with the ancient wisdom, ìEat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may be out of food and wine.î It was by such Stoicism that the wise were able to witness the destruction of the Roman Empire while preserving a somewhat peaceful life. So, with a knowing smile, Julius simply raised his glass toward the fleeing crowd. ìWhat are you going to do, Julie, just sit there and eat?î a citizen who knew him quite well asked. ìWhy not?î he replied. ìIím thirsty. Not to mention hungry.î With that, he indulged in another taste of the Tuscan red. ìYouíre crazy!î a speeding friend called. ìRun, Julie! Run!î Just then a waitress who doubled as a temptress arrived with Julieís lunch, which might be described as a plate of proto-pasta. It consisted of a flat, round piece of dough that hung just a bit over the margins of the plate. It had a baked tomato sitting in the middle of it, with a single chunk of parmesan cheese next to it, and around both was a wreath of fragrant basil leaves. ìEnjoy your plano,î she said, putting down the dish, for that is the name the proto-pasta was known by. ìThank you, gorgeous,î Julius told her, and gave her a pinch. ìOh, you silly man,î she replied, and, looking about, seemed nervous. ìCan you do me a favor, love, and close out your bill now?î ìNo problem, you sex kitten,î he said, and reached for his purse. He took out enough Roman coinage to include a generous tip. ìKeep the change,î he told her, and pursed his lips expectantly. ìThank you, sweetie,î she said, and gave him a luscious but ever-so-brief kiss. Then she hurried off after the other fleeing citizens. Julius calmly picked up a knife and fork and began to eat his proto-pasta. Just as he cut off and savored his first bite, in rushed a huge, fur-covered barbarian, with a leather shield and the fateful sword with which he would help Julius discover pasta in many of the varieties we enjoy to this day, from lasagna to angel hair. ìUh!î he grunted, and raised his sword. Julius continued to dine. ìUh! Uh!î the barbarian raged, for the sound ìuhî comprised much of the everyday range of his proto-language. To attract the attention of the unperturbed diner, he swung his sword in a circle and just happened to whack off the head of a statue of the great Augustus. It crashed to the marble floor. Julius couldnít help but notice the decapitation and, placing a leaf of basil on his tongue, said, ìThat wasnít very nice. I kind of liked that statue.î The barbarian could not, of course, understand a word. In an effort to establish a bit of good will, at least long enough to allow him to finish his meal, Julius held up his bottle of wine. ìLike some vino?î ìHuh-Uh!î the barbarian managed to say. ìSuit yourself,î Julie told him. ìGot a name?î The barbarian stared at him without comprehension. ìName?î Julius repeated, pointing to himself and then at the barbarian to illustrate the point of his question. ìKlunk,î the barbarian said. ìI might have guessed,î Julius commented. ìKlunk, The Great,î the barbarian continued, with some intellectual effort. ìGood for you,î Julius told him, and put out his hand. ìIím Julius, The Roman, also known as Julie, The Ample. Have a seat.î ìHuh-uh! I am conqueror ñ conqueror of Rome!î Klunk managed to say. ìGood for you!î Julie told him, and couldnít resist asking the most challenging question. ìAre you sure you can afford the upkeep? Itís an expensive city to maintain.î ìWhat is upkeep?î Klunk wanted to know. ìYouíll find out,î Julius advised him. ìNow, come on. Have a seat. Youíve had a hard day.î Then he pointed to his dish and indicated a reluctant willingness to share some of his food. ìAnd enjoy some plano.î Klunk looked down at the plate, and asked, ìWhat is plano?î ìYou don't know?î Julie inquired. ìWhere have you been?î ìOther side of the Alps,î Klunk managed to get out. ìOh, no wonder,î Julie replied, and decided to educate the deprived soul. ìSee. This is a plate. Ever hear of a plate?î ìPlate?î ìInstead of eating off the table, or the ground, you eat off of a plate.î ìUh,î Klunk said, with apparent understanding. ìNow, on the plate we put a flat piece of boiled dough, called plano,î Julius continued, lifting up the edge with his fork to demonstrate. ìThen we put all kinds of goodies on top of it. In this case, a tomato, a piece of cheese, and basil leaves.î ìUh-huh.î Klunk acknowledged. ìAll you do is take a knife and fork,î Julius explained, picking the utensils up slowly, so Klunk wouldnít mistake his intentions and send his head rolling the way of the great Augustusís marble head. ìThen you cut off a piece.î He went through the process and took a bite. ìAh, delicious! Sure you wonít have any?î ìUh-huh,î Klunk said, holding his ground, and repeated with some effort, ìPlano.î ìExcellent!î Julius exclaimed. ìYou'll be a true Roman in no time!î ìKlunk ñ a Roman?î the barbarian responded, visibly insulted, and raised his sword high above Julius. Then, unexpectedly, he brought the sword down on the plate and cut the plano right in half. ìNow, what do you call it?î he was somehow able to ask. Julius looked down at the two half-moons, and said, ìI think Iíll call that one big agnolotti.î Then he took another sip of wine and smiled at Klunk. Incensed at his inability to frighten Julius, he raised his sword again and whacked the plate three or four times. ìWhat do you call it now?î Julius examined it, and said, ìThis Iíll call lasagne.î With that, he took a bite and savored it. Now furious, Klunk attacked the plate repeatedly, and demanded, ìWhat do you call it now?î Julius, despite his indifference to fate, was a bit shaken by all the clatter, and said, ìI will name it linguine.î Needless to say, Klunk swung his sword at the plate with an unprecedented volley of strokes. ìWhat is it now?î Julius examined the mishmash on his plate. By now, the plano was cut into thin strips, the tomato was diced, and the cheese was grated. After some deliberation, Julius announced, ìYou made what I will call spaghetti.î Still remaining remarkably calm, at least on the exterior, Julius took his fork and wound some spaghetti around it. Then he took a bite. ìDelicious! And fun, too,î he told Klunk. Enraged at his seemingly imperturbable true Roman, the barbarian now slashed at the contents of the plate until his arms were a veritable blur. Then, short of breath, he sighed, ìTell me what you name that.î Julius looked closely at the mayhem in his plate. Now, the pasta was as thin as he could imagine it, and the tomato sauce, cheese, and basil were all mixed together. ìIt is so thin I think I will name it angel hair.î Klunk became unexpectedly curious and bent toward Julius. ìAngel hair? What for? You no angel. You fat Roman.î Considering how finely the plano was now sliced, Julius could not imagine how much longer it could invite the attentions of Klunk and imagined that his own neck might well be the next object of the barbarianís fury. Ever the clever Roman, he noticed that, as a result of Klunkís exertion, his tummy was showing a bit. Julie was, of course, also aware of the legendary weakness of the barbarian shield, as opposed to the metal shield that accounted for much of the impenetrability of the storied Roman phalanx. So he pretended to move his knife toward the last remaining decent-size piece of tomato, saying, ìNo, my friend, I am not an angel.î With that, he quickly stabbed the somewhat exhausted Klunk, and added, ìBut youíre about to become one.î Klunk looked down at his sudden, fatal wound with shock and fell to the ground with a thud. His head knocked the table and, if Juliusís hands werenít so quick, the movement would have upset his glass of wine. Leaning back and enjoying a sip, he said, ìI think Iím gonna call all these things I discovered after my beautiful girlfriend, Pastina.î Then he rolled a bit on his fork and indulged in another mouthful, musing, ìI just love Pastina.î All the names Julius invented that day, with the undoubted help of the ill-fated barbarian Klunk, have come down through the centuries without alteration, except for the categorical appellation, which usage would eventually abbreviate to the more familiar word ìpasta.î

Recently, while sitting in my chair drinking the last of my breakfast coffee, a thought staggered into my mind. I must confess most thoughts are quite lonely once they enter my mind, but this one had a nagging element to it. Experience has taught me I should never give in to these strange trespassers. Every time I entertain any of them, Iím the one getting burnt. This time was different. Donít ask me how it was different, or how I knew it was different, it just was. Of course, looking back I could have been wrong. The thought: why not surprise my wife by baking her a cake? I know what youíre thinking. I thought the same thing when this suggested itself to me. But, the more I thought about it, the more delightfully delicious it sounded. How can anything go wrong if I am doing it for my wife? The only question I needed to answer was what kind of cake should I bake. After a long period of ruminating, I settled on a lemon sponge cake with peanut butter icing. This was going to be the best surprise my wife has ever received from me. Sitting in a prominent place in the kitchen is my wifeís Betty Crocker Cookbook. I donít know how long she has had that book, itís been in our kitchen for as long as I can remember ó which really may not be that long when I come to think of it. I took the book, sat in my favorite chair and opened it. How do you read a cookbook? As I leafed through it, it did not have any rhyme or reason to me. In musing on the book I said to myself, how important is it to follow directions? Placing the book back in its revered spot, I concluded that since this was my cake, I didnít need help from anybody else, particularly Betty Crocker. This is the difference between men and women. Women need a lot of directions, while men enjoy the liberty of doing their own thing. I knew exactly what I wanted. A lemon sponge cake, with peanut butter icing. What could be simpler? Retrieving a large mixing bowl, I assembled all the ingredients I needed; flour, sugar, eggs, milk and baking powder. Everyone knows you cannot bake without baking powder. I have no idea what baking powder is, except when you bake you use baking powder. I put everything in the mixing bowl. The only thing I wasnít quite sure of was the measure, but how hard could that be anyway? Betty Crocker mentioned a cup of this and a cup of that, but never defined what she meant by a cup. I went to the cupboard and looked at all the cups. There were all kinds and sizes of cups and I did not know which one to use. I eyed a large coffee cup and said to myself, this will do just fine. I dumped 6 or 8 cups of flour into the mixing bowl, I canít remember how many. Then I cracked a dozen eggs and put that into the mixing bowl as well. Pouring a quart of milk into the mixing bowl, I whipped everything into a nice batter. This was to be a lemon sponge cake but I could find nothing marked lemon in the cupboard. I opened the refrigerator, and as luck would have it, I found a quart of lemonade. I poured this concoction into the largest cake pan I could find. As I was about to put it into the oven, I remembered the baking powder. How is this cake going to bake if it doesnít have the baking powder? Setting the cake pan down, I grabbed the baking powder and liberally sprinkled it on top of my batter. I have no idea what baking powder does but I put enough on my cake so it would do a good job. Into the oven the cake went, and with a flick of the wrist I turned the temperature to 450 degrees. Remembering this was a big cake, I readjusted the temperature to 650. The bigger the cake the hotter the oven, is what I always say. Now all I needed to do was wait for my cake to bake. As I was waiting, I heard rumblings coming from the oven but just chalked that up to a good cake baking. I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew there was a strange odor permeating the air. It smelled a little smoky and then it dawned on me. My cake, itís done. What I pulled out of the oven did not resemble any cake I had ever seen. It looked like a burnt pancake, twice the size of the cake pan, with some kind of disease on the surface. No amount of peanut butter icing in the world could camouflage this disaster. It was about this time I began reassessing the idea of reading directions. Maybe instructions have a purpose after all. I remember something the Apostle Paul said. ìStudy to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.î (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV.) To live right without getting burnt you need the right directions.